reactivates | [ TLV | Video ] 006

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[Yes, it's taken Claudia a while after port ended to get this up, but. Hopefully no one's been too worried about her. When she turns the communicator on, she's sitting on her floor with her guitar in her lap, though she moves it and sets it aside, leans back against her bed and sighs a little. There is no streak of color in her hair this time, and the black paint on her nails is chipped... She doesn't seem too concerned about it.]

Yeah, I pulled a stupid. Sorry about that. [Some may find that insincere, may even think it's sarcastic (she does have a tendency towards sarcasm), but in truth she feels quite like a five-year-old having run off on her own into a dangerous situation, without even really thinking about it. She is sorry.] I'm fine, though. And I'll... try to be more helpful at port next time. [She seems a little iffy on that. To be honest right now she's feeling like maybe she doesn't even belong here.]

[She reaches her hand up to pull a file down from on top of her bed.] Looks like I got a little assignment to do in the meantime. Guess who's been handed an inmate? Is there any surprise at all in who it is?

[She flips the file open, lips tilting just slightly as she reads over it, then looks back up at the screen.] Willow Rosenberg. I've been working on a little present for you since I got back from port. We need to meet up so I can give it to you. [And by "present" she means a bracelet with an ability to shock the wearer, starting at 20k volts and tune-able up to a (insert much higher but non-lethal volt charge here, mun will figure out later, too lazy to research at this moment). Claudia has a matching bracelet that will turn the other one on at a press of a button. She's already wearing this bracelet, but among her other bracelets and rings, it would be hard to tell that it was made for such a purpose.]

[Filtered to Wardens PLUS Dracula]

[She runs a hand through her hair. She looks... tired. Maybe even sort of depressed, if you're any good at reading emotions on people's faces.] So apparently the type of vampire Willow is doesn't have an actual soul. And from what I've heard and read... She's probably going to need her soul back, if I want any chance at all in redeeming her. Basically, what I'm asking here... Is there anyone that could help me with doing that? Is it as simple as asking the Admiral for her soul back, or do I need... some sort of spell? Magic?

[Private to Buffy]

At some point I really think I need to talk with you, about... Well, yeah, you know. But there's really no rush at all. Just... whenever you think you'd be.. more comfortable, I guess? With talking about that.

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I like presents. [There's a small smug, smile on her face. Claudia's hers now.]

She doesn't have a soul?

[Pauuuuuuuse]

Are you certain that she needs one to get better?

I've heard of spells like that. [Mildly uncertain though since they're generally used for purposes of containing the souls of exceptionally bad dudes. Still, maybe structurally similar.]

It wouldn't hurt to ask the Admiral just in case, but...I can look into it.

[A beat.]

By the way, I should - I didn't introduce myself last time we talked. I'm Merlin. Hello.

[Dracula looks worried.]

I cannot help you with the magic itself. However, I can give you some ideas on what to expect once it happens, and help both of you cope, if you wish it.

[You wish, Fangs.]

What about jewelry? [She's... not her usual snarky self. She's kind of monotone, actually.]

Well, she's from Buffy and Faith's world... And both of them have kinda made it sound like she would need it?

[And Willow's almost worried.

Almost.]

Is it shiny?

[Pauuuuuuuuuuse.]

Buffy and Faith. One of whom completely hypothetically might have recently murdered a hypothetical inmate who remained entirely nameless?

[Yeah, he saw Willow telling someone the slayer had killed her. Colour him less than impressed by Buffy's input in how to warden Willow.]

Most of the people here have done extremely evil things, presumably while fully equipped with souls. I don't think it should be taken as impossible for somebody to do good things without one, if they exist at all.

I plan on checking to see if the Admiral can do it first, yeah. The simpler the solution the better, but whatever it's gonna take, really...

Oh. Oh. Merlin. Hi. Uh. You... did the sleeping potion thing for Tim, right? Thanks for that, by the way.

That.. That'd be great. Thanks. [And that was quite obviously sincere. Dracula's come a long way with Claudia in a very short time. She's definitely grateful for him.]

So.. what should I be expecting? [His looking worried is... uh, worrisome?]

It is, indeed.

Yes, I did.

Let me know what he says. I can talk to Buffy in the meantime.

Have...you spoken to Willow about it?

Really? You're a former inmate and you're being judgey? Buffy has a past with Willow. I'm not going to talk about it because it's not really my place. But after all is said and done, I've come to my own conclusion that she did nothing wrong. 'Cause my question before? Yeah, that was hypothetical. Because Buffy was acting in self-defense. And honestly the threat of a stake to the heart has been helpful in getting Willow to not hurt more people.

...I didn't say it was impossible. But I'm pretty sure it will speed up the process, maybe even make it easier. Plus, she's my inmate now, okay? I'm not asking for permission to do it. I'm asking how to do it. [We apologize sincerely for the rare appearance of grump!Claudia. She's in a mood. And she backtracks a little, with a small sigh.] ...Not that I don't appreciate your input. I do, seriously.

[She runs a hand through her hair.] ...I understand that because of what Buffy did might make you skeptical of her... opinions about Willow. But they're from the same world, pretty much. Buffy knows about that type of vampire, in general. When she was talking about the soulless thing, she was talking about all of that type of vampire, not Willow in specific. Okay?

Not yet, no. [She's sort of been holed up in her cabin since she got back from port, actually.] Guess I probably should though, huh? She'll probably need to be prepared. And probably I'll need to be prepared for her hating me for it, too.

Probably, yeah. Although it's my experience that some Inmates'll hate you for a lot of things. Some people in general.

...

Are you alright? After port, I mean. [He almost points out that she doesn't have any weird colours in her hair but a) she knows and b) he's not sure if it's reasonable to take that as an indicator of anything.]

[There is a very, very long pause before Prefect replies.]

I tend not to accept that former inmates are talked down to by the other wardens here. It's happened once or twice, that there have been differences of opinion, or disputes, where other graduates have felt like there's been a bias or mistrust against them involved, but I don't know of any other time when someone's come right out and said it before.

I'm a former inmate, so my concerns about the conduct about a fellow warden aren't legitimate. I'm a former inmate, so maybe my judgement is impaired somehow? Maybe you think that whatever I've done removes my right to have any opinion at all on what other people here do?

[Another long pause.]

In the post you made you specified not in self defense, which is why I was concerned. If it was really hypothetical, then that's all you had to say. I'm glad to hear it about her.

I won't bother you with any more of my input, sister.

[Nerves, Claudia. You hit one.]

Good. I wish I could be of more use, but to be honest I am only beginning to explore my condition from magical and scientific standpoints. [He just likes her. She's fun, and clearly well meaning, and she has an open mind.]

Well...if you can imagine for a moment, being a perfect sociopath. People become cyphers to you, devoid of emotional meaning, like...video game people. It does not matter if you kill them because they do not seem real to you. Then suddenly your sociopathy is cured, and people suddenly grow faces and feelings and reasons to care about them...and you have to face what you did to them when you did not care.

It took me almost a year of slowly regaining my emotional self before I could truly do that. Unlike Willow, I have a soul, but it bears a demonic taint that I am dealing with getting rid of. So all in all the process was easier on me than it will be on her. She will get it all at once. There will likely be tears, rage, shame, self-loathing and possibly self-destructiveness. The worst will be over within a week, but real recovery could take months.

You will note, however, that I am not warning you off of this approach. Merely speaking of what to expect.

[Misunderstandings. Foot in mouth. Story of Claudia's life, a lot of the time. That wasn't at all what she was trying to imply.] ...Actually I meant as a former inmate, you of all people should know that people aren't perfect and can make bad decisions, inmate or warden. So it surprised me you were judging Buffy without knowing anything of the why behind it.

And, honestly I have a lot of respect for former inmates. You've done the redemption thing, you should know more about it, and how to go about it, than anyone. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was trying to implicate you had bad judgement or something. That really wasn't what I was trying to say. Like, at all.

Someone else warned me of that earlier.

[She gives a not-very-convincing smile.] I guess? I feel bad for rushing in without thinking. Sometimes I forget that my impulsiveness can, you know, affect other people, too.

[She looks down then, away from the screen, and appears to be fiddling with something off-screen.] ...And I know you said the whole "not being sure" thing was good, but... I don't know. I guess I'm sort of... questioning my ability to warden?

[Usually she's fun. Right now she's got a small cloud hanging over her head that's putting a damper on that fun.

She nods during his explanation - she definitely gets the video game people comparison. She also... winces a few times. Because, yeah, this whole process sounds rather painful.]

Okay... But do I really have any other choice, anyway? Does another approach even exist? I don't.. like the idea of having to do that to her, all at once. I'm just not sure there's any other way, you know?

Don't patronize me, Sister. I was saying that taking the word of someone who had killed your inmate without provocation was a bad idea. I was wrong, it was self defense, but at no point was I talking about what a terrible person Buffy was. I was talking about something that you should have been considering when it came to making decisions about how best to see to the needs of your inmate.

You know nothing about me, Sister, and I don't care if I have your respect or not.

[There's some clicking on his end of the communicator though. Apparently that line about you not getting his input anymore is null and void, since he remembered something that worries him:]

There's another thing. You should talk to Tirion Fordring before you go through with this. Arthas was reunited with his soul some time ago, and... [Pause] ...It's just something you should know about before you decide to do this.

[A bit more clicking, and you get a link (with tw for horrible fire :c), to a pretty old post.]

Edited 2012-06-03 01:39 (UTC)

[A long pause while he marshals his thoughts, then:]

There aren't many Wardens who did anything in their own world which was like the job they're asked to do here. I didn't. When I first came here, assigned an Inmate for a first time, I...I was rubbish. It took me so long to be able to even communicate with him, and...he disappeared before he graduated, in the end.

I suppose what I'm saying is, nobody really comes here with the ability to warden. It's something you learn while you're doing it, and....you shouldn't give up. The Admiral wouldn't have invited you here if he didn't have faith in you.

[He looks even more regretful and concerned at her reaction, but finally swallows it and puts on a reassuring smile.]

To be completely honest, until I was capable of making emotional ties with others I had nothing to motivate me to actually change. I toed the line, but I saw that as a temporary thing, as if I could somehow trick or wait my way out of this place. In order for there to be real progress, she has to be capable of caring. For others, and for herself.

I wish there was a better way, but...a person without conscience is extraordinarily difficult to reach. All I can suggest is that she get as much support as possible during her adjustment period. I am of course willing to volunteer my time to this.

~~((Ooc; doing this on my nook in the hospital waiting room, so I apologize for the formatting.))~~

[She looks back up at the screen, bites her lip for a moment in silent thought.] ...thanks. [And here she gives a much more authentic smile.] That's good to know.

[She actually laughs a little at what he says about the Admiral having faith in her.] Well, at least someone does.

Edited (Format fixing 'cause I'm OCD like that.) 2012-06-03 03:10 (UTC)

I dunno about the rest of everyone, but you were pretty damn helpful to me. [Hey remember that whole guard-dog act from before, Claudia? Yeah. Um. About that. He's pretty dismissive about apology, but then, he's kind of an odd one.]

[ Private ]

Whatever I can do, darlin', I will. I'm not much for magic, I don't much like the Admiral and I don't necessarily agree with either of 'em, but soulless is pretty much always directly under the Bad header in my books.

[Dean is still exhausted after port, still bearing the marks in bruises and scrapes on his face and arms and hands and ribs and back and... everything... and truthfully he's feeling a little stressed about all the stuff they came back to on the Barge on top of it, but it still pains him to see her (or anyone, but especially her) looking remotely depressed.] You like coffee? I can bring you coffee. You're gonna need coffee. And maybe some donuts.

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Filter - ps I am sorry he's being a hypersensitive little bitch, I <3 you :c

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